Herbs
by Roseatron
Summary: Bella wants Edward to join her in a special right of passage. What happens when the rest of the Cullens want to join also. Post New Moon. Rated T for drug use.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**BPOV**

"No, Jake, I really don't think I should, you know, my dad being the chief and all." I sighed as Jake rolled his eyes.

"Awe, come on Bells, its fun! All the pack does it." Jake retorted, flashing me his best attempt at a puppy dog face.

Jacob making a puppy dog face made me giggle since it is totally ironic because he is part of the pack now. Ever since Edward left, I had practically lived in La Push. I had been able to keep Edward in my life by doing crazy, life threatening things. I bit my lower lip as I considered this new crazy thing Jake wanted me to do. I finally decided that maybe, hopefully I would hear Edward's velvet voice again if I did do this.

"Ok, let's do it."

"That's my crazy little Bella!"

Jacob then took something red and shiny from his back pocket. A lighter. He then opened the Zip Lock baggie that way sitting between us on our log. Next, from his coat pocket, he pulled out a very intricately craved pipe.

"Wow, that's has to be the prettiest pipe I have ever seen." I said, reaching for it.

"How many pipes have you actually seen, Bella?" Jacob asked, laughing.

"Not many. Actually, I guess this is the first one that I have seen in person, the rest were in movies and on TV." I handed the pipe back to Jacob, watching closely at what he did next.

Jake took some of the green herb from the baggie and put in the palm of his left hand. With his right, he took bits and crushed them up, rubbing the herb between his thumb and forefinger. He then took the broken up herb and placed some in the bowl of the pipe, lightly pushing it down. He took a little more herb and gently packed that in the bowl.

"Are you ready?" Jacob asked, looking at me with the widest grin on his face.

"I don't know what to do, Jake."

"Just inhale and hold the smoke for a few seconds, then exhale. Easy as pie!" Jacob said, lighting the pipe. He took a long, hard drag from the pipe. He held the smoke in his chest for a few seconds, then exhaled with a loud cough.

I looked at him with wide eyes, "I don't know if I can do that."

He chuckled and passed the pipe to me. Holding the pipe, I suddenly heard that velvet voice I was longing for.

"_Don't do this Bella. You are not that type of person." _

How does do you know? You ran off and left me!

I didn't say this out loud as I knew Jacob would for sure have me committed.

I grabbed the lighter and lit the bowl. I inhaled, quickly coughing. "Oh, Jake, that burns my lungs!" I said, quickly passing him the pipe.

"Oh no you don't! You gotta inhale it for it to work!"

"Ok, ok." I hit the pipe again, this time I was able to inhale the smoke without coughing.

Jacob and I passed the pipe between us several more times before I heard his voice again.

"_Bella, love, why are you doing these things?" _

This time, I just listened to Edward, his voice dazzling me. I wish he would come back to me.

Later that summer……

**EPOV**

Bella and I walked into my room. We both sat on the couch. I pulled her to me, gently lifting her chin so I could kiss her sweet lips.

Just then, Alice danced into the room. She was dressed in hip hugging bell bottom jeans, a flowered peasant shirt and had a flower behind her ear.

Bella giggled "Alice, what's with the outfit?"

"I had a vision last night, so I am trying to set the mood."

"Alice, just what did this vision show you?" I asked, giving Bella a worried glance.

"Oh, I guess Bella hasn't asked you yet. I will just sit over here and wait."

"Bella?" I asked, giving her a very confused look.

"Well, Edward, remember how you want me to experience as many rights of passages before I, well, you know, become a vampire."

Bella was shifting uncomfortably on the leather couch, biting her lower lip. She didn't look me in the eyes as she spoke.

"So, yeah, while you were, um, away, Jacob and I experienced one of these rights together and so now I want to experience it with you." As her chocolate brown eyes slowly meet mine, she gave me a timid smile.

"What was this _experience _you shared?" I said with clinched teeth. Her and that mutt shared something together. Why did I have to ever leave Bella? I would never leave my Bella again, ever.

"I am not sure if vampires can even share this experience, but, well, let's get….um…_stoned_." Bella whispered the last word.

"STONED?" I shouted "What are you talking about?" Bella wanted to get stoned. My Bella. Stoned. I ran through the foggy thoughts of other students at Forks High who had gotten stoned. I actually let a small laugh leave my lips. Bella looked up at me with wide eyes.

"So, you're game?" She slowly pulled out a pipe and a plastic baggie from her purse.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper came crashing into the room. I could read their minds. They were all very excited Bella had presented me with the chance to experience this right of passage.

"Dude, we're game! It never hurts to try, right?" Emmett was practically jumping up and down.

"I think it is good for everyone to try something once, even vampires." Rosalie said in a mater of fact tone.

"Yes." Is all Jasper had to say.

_Edward, I don't think vampires can even get stoned, but why not let Bella enjoy herself. _

I nodded in agreement with Jaspers thoughts.

"Ok, light it up." I got up and shut the door to my bedroom. I went to my massive CD collection to the 1960-1970 section and put on some Jefferson Airplane.

Bella lit the herb in the pipe and took a long hit then passed it to Alice. Alice shrugged her shoulders and took a hit as well. Alice was now holding the smoke in her not needed lungs. By now, a human would be turning blue, but Alice just sat there, smiling.

"Is it working Alice? Emmett asked, taking the pipe. Alice just shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, it wouldn't kill us to try." Emmett stated as he relit the herb and inhaled a chest full of smoke, holding it in. Emmett passed the pipe to Rosalie, who mimicked Emmett and then passed it to Jasper. Jasper took a much smaller hit.

_This is weird. You can feel the smoke in your lungs. It's just swirling around. _

I was about to respond to Jasper's thoughts when Bella giggled. I glanced at her, wondering why. Then I realized it was my turn. Jasper was handing me the pipe.

I took it and just stared at it.

"Edward, don't be a fuddy duddy." Emmett choked out. Did Emmett just cough? Vampires can cough? Surely he is just playing this up.

I lit the herb and took a hit, holding the smoke in my lungs. I quickly passed the pipe to Bella. As the pipe went around the circle again, we sat in silence, waiting for something to happen. Bella had already starting feeling the effects. Every time I would look at her, she would flush red and start giggling. Her eye lids were heavy, barely open. Her breathing and heart rate had slowed. She was completely mellow. When the pipe got back to Bella, she place more herb in the pipe, lit it and took another hit. Her movements were extremely slow, even for a human.

"Alice, how do you feel?" Bella giggled as she spoke.

"Well, I think I may be feeling something. Let's smoke some more."

The pipe went around the room several more times. Bella passed on the last round, just handing the pipe to Alice.

"Ok, I think that is enough, Bella seems content." I announced to the room. Bella had slumped down on the couch and was staring at the ceiling. Just then, a strange sensation covered my body. I too began to feel mellow. I looked at Jasper. His eyes were wide, like he too was having the same sensation.

"Dude, I think it's actually working! Rock!" Emmett said, slowly.

Alice stood up, very slowly, and began to dance toward the stereo.

"Keep passing that pipe!" Jasper hissed at Emmett.

"Ok, ok, don't kill my buzz!"

_One pill makes you larger  
And one pill makes you small  
And the ones that mother gives you  
Don't do anything at all  
Go ask Alice  
When she's ten feet tall_

All heads quickly turned toward Alice as she had began singing, loudly.

And if you go chasing rabbits  
And you know you're going to fall  
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar  
Has given you the call  
Recall Alice  
When she was just small

My sister had the most perfect pitch. Everyone was staring at her, their mouths slightly open in awe.

When men on the chessboard  
Get up and tell you where to go  
And you've just had some kind of mushroom  
And your mind is moving low  
Go ask Alice  
I think she'll know

When logic and proportion  
Have fallen sloppy dead  
And the White Knight is talking backwards  
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"  
Remember what the dormouse said;  
"FEED YOUR HEAD

She took a bow, then busted into laughter as we all clapped for her.

"This is the best thing since sliced bread" Rosalie stated.

I busted into laughter.

"What?" Rosalie demanded.

"Sliced bread? That doesn't even make sense, especially for a vampire!" I couldn't help laughing. Everything was suddenly funny.

I looked at Jasper. Alice had sat down next to him after her performance. His eyes were glazed over, staring at Bella. I suddenly tensed. I tried to read his mind. There was nothing but fog there. I quickly tried to read Alice and Rosalie.

"Holy shit!" I shouted. Everyone jumped. "I can't read your minds!"

"Edward, sweetie," Alice began, moving toward me "That's because we aren't thinking anything; we are just stumps on a log."

"Oh, well, then why is Jasper staring at Bella like that?" I asked, pointing at Jasper. He slowly turned his head and spoke.

"I was merely admiring the thread count of her sweater."

Everyone began laughing, even me.

"Hey, do you have the movie _Wizard of Oz_ and the_ Pink Floyd _CD _Dark Side of the Moon_?" Bella asked, jumping up and meandering toward my CD collection.

"Umm, yes, we do, why? Rosalie asked. "I hate those flying monkeys!"

Once again, the entire room busted into laughter.

"You will see. Just put the movie in and turn it down and then play the CD. They match up!" Bella was trying so hard to concentrate on the titles of the CD collection.

"Allow me love." I joined her, much slower than I expected.

"Dude, I can only move at human speed!" I announced to the room, giggling. Did I just giggle? This stuff is really hitting me.

"Ok, let's move to the living room." Alice announced, dancing toward the door, much slower than usual.

We all followed her down, giggling the entire way. I was glad that Carlisle and Esme were hunting. I don't think they would approve of a bunch of vampires getting stoned.

Jasper put the movie in the DVD player and I put the CD on. Emmett, Jasper and I sat on the couch while Rosalie, Alice and Bella sat on the floor at our legs.

"Ok, turn the volume off of the movie and just listen to the CD. Start the music after the lion roars the second time." Bella directed.

**BPOV**

We all sat in silence as the movie and CD played. Just as it was ending, the thought crossed my mind. A huge smile formed across my face. I can't believe that the Cullen's are getting stoned with me, this is, like, totally awesome! Wait, how the hell are the vampire's getting stoned?

"Umm, Edward, how come you guys were able to get stoned?"

Just as Edward was about to speak, Emmett jumped up from the couch, knocking Rose over.

"Allow me to explain." All heads turned toward Emmett.

"Ok, so, like,start quote" Emmett raised his hands and made quotation marks in the air "_'__Vampires are physically similar enough to their human origins to pass as humans under some circumstances (like cloudy days). There are many basic differences. They appear to have skin like ours, albeit very fair skin. The skin serves the same general purpose of protecting the body. However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal. A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable). A fluid similar to the same venom lubricates their eyes so that their eyes can move easily in their sockets. (However, they don't produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire's eye.) The lubricant-venom in the eyes and skin is not able to infect a human the way saliva-venom can. Similarly, throughout the vampire's body are many versions of venom-based fluids that retain a marked resemblance to the fluid that was replaced, and function in much the same way and toward the same purpose. Though there is no venom replacement that works precisely like blood, many of the functions of blood are carried on in some form. Also, the nervous system runs in a slightly different but heightened way. Some involuntary reactions, like breathing, continue (in that specific example because vampires use the scents in the air much more than we do, rather than out of a need for oxygen). Other involuntary reactions, like blinking, don't exist because there is no purpose for them_'_._End quote.I know that because I Googled it. Anyway, our lungs can still absorb the THC and because we have the heightened nervous system, bam, we are now stoned!"

We all sat there staring at Emmett for a few moments, trying to fully comprehend his monologue. Rosalie giggled, followed by Alice. Soon we were all laughing, including Emmett.

"Wow, I think that is the smartest thing I have ever heard you say, Em." I managed to say, between laughs and breaths.

That statement pushed everyone over the edge, and we just keep laughing. Every time we all would just about calm down, my eyes would meet one of the Cullen's and I would start giggling again, causing everyone to follow.

This went on for a half hour or so. We all managed to finally get control of our laughter and I realized I was getting very sleepy. I climbed onto Edwards lap to snuggle with him. Emmett and Rose slowly exited the room. Jasper leaned over and whispered something in Alice's ear and they vanished from the room as well.

Edward began to hum my lullaby and I drifted off into a very happy slumber.

**A/N: I will be writing new chapters, etc soon. Thanks to all who have responded**


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